It felt really neat to be in a story and have it published on the genQ website.
Below are the full details:
Scene: The Gladstone Hotel
DJ’s 4est and Triple-X teamed up to bring you a very
special edition of the weekly Hump Day Bump on December 21st,
appropriately titled “Black Christmas”
Along with twisted holiday tunes, there was plenty of punk,
electro, beats, and other ditties to keep asses shaking. As
well, the night featured vintage videos and gigantic stockings
as the backdrop.
There was also be a special appearance by “The Man in
Black”, a “Mistletoe Make-Out Area”, and “Psychic
Mistress Krystyna” doing her special holiday readings.
Festive attire was all the rage!!!
The night was geared to the holiday misfit and dysfunctional
soul. It was one of the last fun nights before meeting up with
your “other” family. Word on the street was that
it was the busiest and rauchiest Hump Day Bump to date.
The Details:
Black Christmas – Gladstone Hotel Melody Bar – 1214 Queen St W – 416 531 4635 Wednesday December 21st. 8:00 P.M. to 2:00 A.M
Be nice and you might get a treat – Be naughty and you
might get two.
I was doing fortune telling readings at the Gladstone Hotel that evening. There was this guy named Equine that said he was a writer for Queer planet. He asked if he could write about me and a bunch of other people for his article. That's how we all got in this story below.
Hump Day Bump: O Holy Night!
by Equine Punk generationq.net. (formerly QueerPlanet)
December 21st, 2005. A recently renovated hotel called The Gladstone. Night.
A tall man dressed in "Equestrian Chic" walks up to a hotel. He looks tired. Discouraged. He turns to walk away but then stops.
Equine Punk
(Voice over)
(the voice in his head)
No. I don't care if it sucks. Just be open to it. Just walk through the door. Don't be so afraid.Don't be so Toronto.
He walks through the doors, camera in hand, chin held high, but not too high. He sees a familiar face. His name is Bryen Dunn of Triple-X Productions, the organizer for this night called Black Christmas? Bryen Dunn "Hey you made it! Good to see you. Looks like it's going to be a busy night. Why don't you go see my friend Krystyna. She's the gypsy in the corner. She'll tell you your future."
He looks around. So many faces. Fags, dykes, breeders, riff-raffs, vagabonds, socialites, low-lifes. They're all there. Even the old clientele, the only thing left that shows the age of the hotel, is there. He weaves between the pillars making his way to the gypsy in the corner.
He introduces himself to the clairvoyant as a writer for QueerPlanet Canada. He asks to take some pictures because he's covering the events of tonight for a story. She looks skeptical. He encourages her to speak to Bryen. She retires to the washroom? and when she returns, she apologizes for having mistrusted him. He understands.
Equine Punk (V.O.)
(the voice in his head, in jest)
You'd think a clairvoyant would know if I was telling the truth?
She begins to explain her process. He listens. The lighting of the candles, the incense, the transferring of energy from the hands of the individual, the clearing of the mind, the magic eight ball?
Krystyna(nervously) "Oh that? That was a joke gift from Bryen. You should try it out. Ask it something." He studies the ball for a moment. Picks it up. Closes his eyes.
Equine Punk (V.O.) "Will I have a good night?"
A tight shot of the eight ball reveals three words. CANNOT PREDICT NOW. He reflects on these words. Krystyna nurses her White Russian. (not a boyfriend but a drink)
Krystyna(knowingly) "Wonder what that means?"
He takes a few shots of her in different poses. She's very comfortable now, and insists on more pictures. He indulges. He never messes with a gypsy. He packs up his camera, gets her to sign a release form and readies himself for the next adventure. The incense is thick in the air. She wades through it to connect with him one last time.
Krystyna(as an epiphany) "You're a very lucky person aren't you? I feel that."
Rebel, Rebel? encourages in the background. He orders a vodka-water from the bartender. She has short spiky hair with a short spiky attitude to match. She has seen these children through all their silly seasons. She wears a trendy blazer, begrudgingly. She drops off the vodka water. He tips high. The adventure continues. A white shirt walks by. Another little character parks beside him.
Heart(chipper) "Do they have Eggnog here? They should."
Heart is a young, dykey looking girl. Plain and smart. She looks logical, but not square. They speak carefully, but casually and he convinces Heart to talk to QueerPlanet. He listens.
Heart(dry but enthusiastically) "I live in Queer West Village. I do lots of things really. I'm an artist, web developer, oh, and I box." His intrigue is obvious.
Equine Punk (V.O.) I like this girl. I like boxing. Heart(discouraged)I mean not competitively. I tried it once, but I lost to this girl. Now I just do it for fun. You should come. It's called Toronto News Girls
They swap information, take some pictures, and promise to go watch some girls punch the shit out of each other.
Heart(mischievously) "Stay here. I'll be right back."
She runs out of the Gladstone like Rocky Balboa training for the big fight. He moves on. A woman catches his eye. She belongs in a different era. Maybe the 40's or 50's, but with a 60's kind of attitude. It's her septum piercing that tells him she belongs here tonight. He approaches. He indicates he wants to speak to her in a quieter local. She agrees. He pitches QueerPlanet. She's interested. He listens.
Andrea(with class) "Yeah, I love your idea."
"Actually, I work at the Royal Cinema, the rep theatre on College. We're trying to start a queer night there. We'd like to show old queer movies, and maybe provide a venue for artists to show new ones. I think it would be really cool. We should help each other out. I'm all about the networking. Maybe we could put your ad in our paper, and you could come out and cover some of our events. Interested? "
He smiles. The smile says many things. This chicks cool. I'd like to work with her. I'm thirsty. He takes some pictures of her and a friend. He suggests something dramatic, maybe up against the pillars. He admires their vintage-look. They correct him.
Andrea and Friend(a la Oscar Wilde) "We're not vintage darling. We're Indie."
The Indie's dispurse and Heart appears from behind the pillar.
Heart(non-challant) "You look thirsty. Eggnog? I ran across the street for it. It's Christmas. You have to have eggnog?
They order shots of rum for their nog. They drink. He sets his glass down. The drink is gone.
Heart is gone. A white shirt walks by. He sees a word in the crowd of freaks. On a t-shirt. It says KISS. He's not sure whether this is a band or an order, but he'd listen to both. He decides this will be his next adventure.
The nog sloshes in his belly as he makes his move towards the KISS. Mr. KISS has a friend. They notice him. They speak. They agree. He listens.
Danny and Sara are their names. He's a stylist. She's his make-up artist. They're like good cop/bad cop. One aggressing while the other withdrawing, but both charmingly opportunistic.
Equine Punk (V.O)My kind of people. They know what they want,and they know how to get it. Danny flirts. Sara plays shy. The charade continues.
Danny "You should take pictures of us in compromisingpositions."
Sara "Let's do it on the pool table."
After applying make-up to each other, Danny and Sara spread themselves on the felt. Equine mounts the table, straddling them both. He knows how to shoot them, and they know how to look hot.
Washroom goers pass the threesome in erotic awe. Most are too fearful to partake, but one inebriated girl takes a risk. A pool cue stands erect, balls are scattered, until it is only two left. Their faces are peaceful now. Exhausted. Relieved. Danny proceeds with some post-coital cuddle-talk.
Danny "Hey, we just worked with Kids On TV. They were really cool. "
Sara "You should come. I think you'd have fun."
'Cagney and Lacey' run off to go dance. The pool table is empty. He misses them. A white shirt walks by. Equine spots a sign that reads MISTEL TOW MAKE OUT. Some young lovers are taking advantage of this sign, and of each other. He dashes through the snow like a one-horse open gay. He asks the lovers for their picture. They continue to kiss. He asks again. No answer. This continues for a full five minutes. Finally the long-haired lover comes up for air.
Lover #1(out of breath) "Just take it."
He does. Several. Maybe too many.
Equine (V.O.) They make my pants feel tight. And my heart feel lonely.
He asks again for them to sign the waver. Without removing lips the lovers scribble random snakes and ladders on the blue slip. It will do. The lovers kiss, the music embraces, people laugh, and a white shirt stops in front of him.
Bruno(confidently) "I'm Bruno. You look like your having a fun adventure. I'm a resident artist at the Gladstone. Would you like to go on a tour?"
He nods at the bartender. She smiles. They leave. The two tall men enter a lobby with a beautiful elevator.
Bruno(teaching) "This is the oldest elevator in Toronto. Would you like to take it?"
They enter. He closes the gate behind them and hits the leaver to UP?.
Bruno "The elevator attendant's name is Hank. You'd like him.He's a character. Here we are." They step out into a beautiful studio space. Colourful canvasses cover the walls. They walk to a door.
Bruno "I want you to see my sculptures. And the studio I designed myself?"
They enter a stunning space. Giant ceilings, art everywhere, dark wood, books, fabrics, memories, dreams.
Bruno "This is called Le Girafe".
From the bottom up, four piles of books hold the legs of an old, dark wood desk. On the desk is a lamp and a wooden pillar. A top the pillar are more books wedged between the towering column and the ceiling.
Equine (V.O.)It's tall and crazy and magical. Like Bruno.
They talk. They laugh. They listen.
Bruno "I'd like to see you again? What are you doing for New Years?"
Queen Street. Snowfall. Night.
He walks home. The night is done. Morning is close. He sings "Oh Holy Night" to himself, and reflects on the events of this most holy night. An adventure that almost didn't happen. Because he was afraid. Of people. Instead, he chose to be fearless and lucky.
He remembers the eight ball and the words of the future. "CANNOT PREDICT NOW" It's like the mantra for Toronto. So much potential, but everyone's too afraid to make something amazing happen in their lives.
Maybe this is the beginning.
Equine(laughing out loud) No. Not maybe. This IS just the beginning?
Fade to Black.
