The Girl Beyond The Shadows Piece

She peered into the darkness staring at the ceiling. She felt the fear creep up her body.

Her head spinned as old tapes repeated over and over again in her head.

These thoughts were sometimes controllable and sometimes not. The thoughts would
effect the way she would feel psyically and mentally. She tried many times to escape
them or to tell them to go away and she would fight them every day constantly like a
battle that is never ending, she wished with all her heart that her mind could be at ease where she wasn’t having obsessive thoughts in her head that she couldn’t control.

She would put her hand on her heart in desperate need of feeling the warmth from her
hand, it would sooth her, she would grasp her body and hold it awhile so she felt safe and it would stop her from feeling like she was going crazy.

Constantly, obsessing over conversations that have been said, what people thought of
her, how depressed and empty she felt, until one day it appeared in her mind, the divine the inner guide the one that was on her side and it saved her from the evil thoughts that often corrupted her mind.

This was her savior, for she listened intently to this voice and it helped her to feel not crazy and instead whenever she would hear the evil voice say that she was weak it would pipe up from the heavens and say,”no your not”, your strong, your a soul survivor and you should be proud of it!

Not understanding where this voice came from she struggled with thinking she was crazy for even having this voice in her head at all and didn’t understand that her inner voice was good and ok to have.

It was hard for her to accept it at first because she didn’t understand why it wanted to help her and why it was on her side. She was used to the evil voice taking over all the time with out this savior helping her out.

But, as time went on, she began to become more comfortable with it and began to slowly accept it more and more for she liked how it was so positive.

She decided to start to believe what it had to say and whenever the evil voice tried to take over if it would replace it with a positive response to let that positive response in and to not worry that much about where it was coming from to just enjoy it’s positivity.

She also started thinking that she was special having been given this special gift that no one knew of accept for her and having not had a family that was very loving or supportive she decided to make this voice as her new love, her friend.

Finally, after all these years of living behind the shadows she had conquered them and now felt beyond the shadows and thankful that she had been given a chance to have someone special love her and help her to love herself and save her from the evil darkness that so often tried to take over her spirit.

Quotes from my mind

A life is wasted if we focus on what we don’t have as oppose to what we do have.

Freedom is a gift, without freedom we are living dead.

There's no control on what life hands us but control on what we do with it or how we handle it.

The Beauty Of Genuine Support

She cried and cried and cried, frustration and hurt filled her heart filling it up with pain. She took a chance and opened her heart.

Her fears and troubles poured out of it.

Not knowing what to expect, she was in awe at how suportive and understanding he really was.

Feeling like she wasn't alone in her troubles she embraced his support still feeling vulnerable and like he would make fun of her or think she was a baby for being emotional he gently said, i would never think of you that way.I'm here for you. She felt her heart melt and she started to relax as she took in his soothing words.

Feeling like they were one she embraced the feeling and felt his tender arms around her as they embraced in a loving hug.

Born Into A New Light

She walked gracefully across the water one step at a time feeling reborn, reborn into a new light a new way of life.

Her soul was finally open and it danced upon the water like soft silk, she smiled to herself and continued walking with no pain in her heart, no pain in her soul. The angels had come to save her, come to bring her to a new light.

She spread her arms out and felt the cool breeze lift her delicantly across the water. She felt as though she was floating, floating on water.

She was now born into a natural healer, for her own pain had dispersed and now it was her time to heal the world in all the ways she could.

Soul Dance

I feel my body start to move, music corupts my soul like like hot lava, I reach my hands up and touch the ceiling feeling free, free as a bird, free as a feather blowing gracefully in the wind.

I breath deeply feeling my breath full in my belly, than exhale feeling my body move in whatever way it wants to from the music.

As I move my body around the room swaying my hands and arms with the rythum.

I touch my heart with my hand and feel the healing energy take over resulting in a feeling of peace. I let this peace in and it takes over my soul and brings me to a state of pure tranquility.

Perdition Dancers

The listing on http://www.toronto-goth.com/ website for the performance I participated in as one of the blood soaked dancers.

Sun. March 27th: (bloody and evil) return to The Catacombs toronto-goth.com presents return to The Catacombs every Sunday night at The Vatikan, 1032 Queen St. W. Doors 8pm, no cover, all ages (ID required to drink). Steven (from Perdition) spins classic gothic and all your requests.
Tonight also features special Easter performance w/ Perdition and blood soaked dancers + guest DJs DemEntia & Alxxx. Merchandise by Reaperz Ripperz (goth resin figures), Crimson Avellone and Taedan Hall. Prizes and giveaways.
.For more info visit: http://catacombs.toronto-goth.com

Halo Halo Sa Toronto 2007 Preview of Event Video!

For this event "Fierce Foxy Fire" participated in it as Neptune Dancer.

My knees were trembling and my throat felt dry, all I remember thinking was, Oh god it's almost my turn to dance.

Taking a deep breath I walked in the middle of the stage in front of everyone felt the music and started to move with whatever my body felt like doing.

It felt awesome! I remember being nervous but excited at the same time! Now, looking back on it, I was glad I did it.

Below is the video that was put on youtube from Studio I: http://immortalinvestmentsinternational.com/i.html