Monday, October 31, 2011

Story about Fantasy Fashion Show at Gallery 1313 in 2006 written by: Sonya from toronto fashion.com website

Post from the gallery 1313 fashion show I participated in as one of the designers and models.

Gallery 1313 Fantasy Fashion Show
~ Sonja Andic

Fantasy Fashion Show Hits the Mark, Oct 2, 2006
1313 Queen St West

Oh yes this fashion show was all about fantasy fashion. Fashions last seen on the set of Battlestar Galactica or Star Trek, in some freaky intergalactic bar episode. On show for the audience was: tattooed nudity in skimpy shorts; shaman worship rituals with bald men brandishing twigs and feathers; alien looking men totally covered in extreme body-paint designs; a huge ball gown made entirely from hair; dresses made from balloons; and possessed models acting like little girls cutting away at each others clothes. Whew, and that is just the summary!

But why not have some fun with fashion…does it all have to be practical and wearable? Hmmmm clearly lots of debate over that issue – but Torontostreetfashion supports all design endeavors wearable or not!

TSF design highlights were: Joelle Wall’s dress made of hair; design label Noxious’ fun Caution Bikini and Drunken Sailor gal outfits; Menno Krant’s body painting: and Taylor Flook’s deranged little girls cutting each others hair and clothes.

Designer Participants: Tara Bursey, Sean Reaney, Dawn Maillaux, Richard Preston, Melodie Carew, Ryan Alexander, Tracy Horvath, Cecile Champlain and Krystyna Hunter.







Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Dreams and Nightmares Art Show

For this event I showcased my own creation of an art piece called the human collage.



Monday, April 20, 2009

Short Story I wrote called Fate Or Not

Page 1

Destiny dipped her foot in the water by her water fall.

Suddenly, she was interrupted by a guy that tapped her on the shoulder.

“Hello”,” I couldn’t help but notice you,” he said.

You looked so beautiful with your long white flowing dress and your shiny hair.
Destiny, stunned whirled around.

He peered at her closely and noticed right away that she had a clear crystal star on her forehead.

“Excuse me, who are you”? And, what are you doing here she said in a sly voice.

“Oh, allow me to introduce myself,” I am Pedro and I couldn’t help but notice you from across the way, you just stood out like this beautiful flower and as soon as I saw you I knew I just had to come over and say hi.

“Look, I am glad that you find me attractive but I just want to be left alone,” she said in an impatient rude voice.

But, Pedro pleaded, the moment I saw you I felt something, something real like a connection, love at first sight perhaps.

“What, that is ridiculous”, she said.” Love at first sight, it doesn’t exist you know, theirs no such thing.”

Destiny peered up at him and looked him right in the eyes, immediately she started to feel her body shift in a way that was foreign to her, she felt tingly in her heart and her stomach churned sure enough it was love she felt.

She got lost in his eyes for a minute then felt her heart open and immediately she snapped herself out of it and backed away.

“See, he said, you felt it too”, I just know you did.

“I felt you feel it!”

“I didn’t feel anything of the sort,” she said, I don’t know what you are talking about.


Page 2

Pedro sighed with frustration and said, “I am so lonely,” “I have been isolated for so many years,”

“ I yearn, yearn for love,” yearn for companionship and I have for quite some time now ever since my mother died, and I abandoned myself in the tower near your
waterfall.

Today I got enough courage to go out, and I see you, this beautiful women that I can’t take my eyes off of.

“I feel it is fate that I saw you, love at first sight.”

Destiny looked up at him surprised,” abandoned,” did you say that you abandoned yourself for years?

“Yes,” he stammered embarrassed.

Destiny couldn’t believe it, she too had abandoned herself for years after she ran away from home due to being neglected and not touched or loved very much by her family members.

Should I tell him she thought? There was a long pause…. Then she took a deep breath and said,

“Well, I too abandoned myself here,”” As a matter of fact I live under the water fall, and have for 12 yrs.”

“Really?” He said.

“So have I .”

“I have lived in the tower here in Prog hidden deep in the forest for 12yrs alone.”

“Why were you alone?” She asked.
“Because my father abandoned me when I was really young do to thinking I was a freak because of my power. “ he said.

“Power,” Destiny’s eyes widened.

“What do you mean power?”

“Well, ever since I was young I learned of this power that I have and that is I am able to stop and start the world with my hands. “

“The first time I did it my dad freaked out thought I was dangerous so he left and I never saw him again.”

“Then I lived with my mom in the tower until she died of cancer.”

“Oh, I am sorry to hear about your mom,” Destiny said.

Page 3

“That’s ok,” thanks Pedro said.

“Well, I think it’s strange how you have a power because I have a power too,” Destiny said.

“Really,” Pedro leaned in closer intrigued.

“Yeah, as a matter of fact I am able to walk on water without falling through.”

“Wow,” cool he said.

Destiny continued,“ I never had it since I was a kid like you but when I ran away from home do to being neglected I came here and would go into the water to cleanse my pain I felt and I kept doing it until one day I discovered that I could walk on water.”

“ I don’t know how I got this power it’s just happened.”

“ It’s magic you know.”

A light bulb went off in Pedro’s head.

“ See, we are meant to be!” he exclaimed.” Look how much we have in common!”

“Oh,I am so happy I found you,” I longed for this moment for a very long time.

“Look,” just because we have a couple things in common doesn’t mean we are meant to be, as a matter of fact I don’t want to be with anyone, I am quite happy being alone.”

“What, how could you say that?” Pedro said confused.

“I just did.” Destiny said.

“I am happy being alone with my beloved waterfall and my power that keeps me going.”

“I don’t believe you,” Pedro stammered.

“Well, believe it,” now if you don’t mind I’d like for you to leave me alone!!!
With that, Destiny motioned for him to go away, heart broken Pedro turned and walked away.

A couple hours later Pedro decides to try again so he came back to Destiny with flowers in his hand.

“These are for you,” he said.

Destiny spun around.

“What, you got me flowers, how could you?” She said.

Page 4

“What, what do you mean?” I don’t mean any harm by it, I am just trying to be nice,

“Here, just take them, the least you can do is smell them.” Pedro said.

“I thought I told you to leave me alone,” Destiny said angrily.

Before she could say anything else Pedro put the flowers in her hand in hopes that she would smell them this would calm her down.

But, instead of smelling them DESTINY throws them back at him and pushes him meaning to push him away from her in hopes that he would get the point that she doesn’t want to be with him, but as she does this, she pushes him to hard and he accidently falls in the water and can’t swim.

“Oh my god, destiny screams,” “Pedro”” Pedro”,” I’m so sorry!”” Are you alright?”

“I can’t swim” he screams, “I am going to die in here!!!”

“No you won’t,” “ I’ll save you!” she yelled back!

“What you’ll save me,” “I thought you didn’t care about me!”

“Oh shut up,” it is what it is!”

Well……..hurl…….with that, Pedro was caught off my him loosing strength to tread water, he began to sink to the bottom , his body felt weak and lifeless, this is it, he thought, I am dying this is the end for me.

He closed his mouth and felt as his airway passages closed, then everything went black…..

Just then, Destiny walks on the water and finds Pedro. Star jewel glowing in the middle of her forehead, she asks the water to separate where Pedro is; the water obeys her and does just that.

Destiny sees Pedro lying in the sand at the bottom, she walks over to him and scoops him up in her arms and carries him back to her home.
She sets him on the ground and then asks the water to go back to its regular form. Once again, her star jewel glowed on her forehead and the water did just that.
She turned back to Pedro, she touched his face, and it was cold and clammy.

“Oh god,” I am so sorry she said.

“This is all my fault!”

She laid her head on his chest and noticed that he wasn’t breathing.
“Please Pedro, come back to life,” “I do want you,” I want to be with you!”

Page 5

As she said this, her star jewel lit up, and some warm loving energy flowed into Pedro, as this happened, she began to feel his body warm up.
As soon as she felt this, she gave him mouth to mouth and he coughed.

“Oh, Pedro your alive!” She said,” I thought you were dead! “

Pedro weak and disoriented slowly opened his eyes, and began breathing.

“Were….were am I?” He stammered….

“What, what happened”?

Just then he peered up at Destiny, and then it all came back to him.

“You, you pushed me,” he said.

“I fell because of you!”

Now, fully awake and in shock, he stood up and broke free from her grasp.

“How, how could you?” He screamed angrily.

“I tried to give you flowers and then you pushed me!!”

“I I I’m sorry,” Destiny stammered,” I didn’t mean to, it was an accident. “

“Accident my ass,” he said.” If you didn’t push me I would have never fallen.”

“I know I am sorry;” I made a mistake, destiny pleaded.

“Please forgive me!”

“I saved your life even though I pushed you,” I do like you, I do care for you, and this has proved it to me!”

“I don’t care”, he screamed, you never should have pushed me!!!

“Forget you,” he called over his shoulder, you ain’t worth it!

“I never want to see you again!”

With that, he turned and stomped away heading back to his home. As he walked he thought about just how mean it was for Destiny to push him like that once he put the flowers in her hand. ‘Why did she do that?’ He thought.

Page 6

She obviously doesn’t like me. If she did she would have never pushed me. Well, screw her, we weren’t meant to be anyway……

His thoughts were interrupted by a glowing light that appeared in front of him.
The light looked like millions of crystal stars. As he peered at the light closer he saw that the stars were starting to take form and they were forming into the shape of a women.

Once fully formed Anastasia appeared.

He noticed that she was wearing a sparkly, long blue cloak that covered her head. Her white hair peeked through the sides. He guessed she was women in her late 50’s.

“Hello,” she said in a perky friendly voice.

“Hi,” he said.

“Who are you?”

“Well, I am a fairy god mother she said in a cheerful voice.”

The minute she opened her mouth it reminded him of his mother. Instantly, her sweet calming voice made him smile.

“Wow,” you remind me of my mother, he said. She’s dead now, he said with a sad look on his face.

“Oh,” I am truly sorry to hear that! she said.

“Thanks” he said.

“Um, what are you doing here” he said.

“Ah yes,” good question she said.

“I am here to help you with Destiny” she said.

“Help me,” he laughed, “oh that’s hopeless” he said.

“She pushed me”……Anastasia cut him off.

“I know what happened” she said.

“And that is why I am here,” to help you so you guys can be together.

“I know you are angry about her pushing you, but you have to understand, because she didn’t come from a very affectionate family she tends to push love away as a result.”

“It’s not her fault, you know.”

“ She just hasn’t learnt how to accept love that’s all. Her family didn’t touch her much when she was young so she not used to it.”

“But, I do one thing,” she did save your life, and that means that she does care for you!”

“Now that you know that she doesn’t mean to do this to you, this should help you forgive her for pushing you. And, please be thankful that she saved your life, you could have died.”

I will show just how much she does care.

Anastasia retrieved a star wand from the pocket in her cloak, she move it around in circles, show us Destiny she said.

With that, Pedro was amazed to see that a port hole opened in the forest and he could see Destiny.

She was crying, her tears hitting the water like poisonous acid.

She looked so sad, so lonely.

“See,” Anastasia said, “she needs you.”

“She needs your love and you need her love.”

All of a sudden, Pedro felt his heart start to open and he felt compassion and love for destiny instead of anger.

“Oh my god,” he said. She saved my life and I didn’t even thank her.

“I feel like such a moron.”

“Well, go to her now and let her know, now is your chance”

With that, Anastasia disappeared.

Thank you Anastasia, Pedro thought. Thank you for making me see.

Pedro headed back to Destiny but as he approached her home he noticed that she is no were to be found and her star jewel was on a rock beside her home.

Puzzled, he walks over to the star jewel and calls out her name.

“Destiny, were are you?”

There is no response.

He picked up the star jewel put it in his pocket and started walking back towards his home thinking maybe she went looking for him but as he approached the pathway that leads to his house he sees her lying their passed out.

“Oh my god,” what happened? Pedro screams.

He knelt down beside her and held her head in his arms.

“Somebody help!!!” “Please help!!!” He screamed.

Page 8

All of a sudden Anastasia appears.

“Oh thank god it’s you,” Pedro says.

“Something happened to Destiny!!!”

“She’s passed out!” Pedro says.

“Oh dear, I was afraid this would happen,” Anastasia said.

“What do you mean?” Pedro asks.

“You see without love the star jewel looses its power and Destiny grows weak.”
“ You hold the key to keep her power strong.”

It is with your love that she is able to be more and more powerful.
You see the more love she receives the more powerful she get’s and the more her power is able to heal her.

What you have to do now is to place the star jewel in the middle of her forehead, once you do this the star will glow and then Destiny will be awakened.
Pedro removed the star jewel from his pocket, he walked over to put the jewel on Destiny’s forehead but, just as he does this Anastasia grabbed it out of his hand and disappears into thin air.

“Pedro shocked,” cries out!

“Were did you go? “

Their was no response.

Pedro grasps Destiny’s hand, her hand felt so cold, so lifeless.

“Oh, Destiny”, I’m so sorry, I should have never left your side, I should have forgiven you! I am so sorry!

“I love you!” “I do love you!”

Just then, Anastasia appeared.

“This time she had an evil look in her eye!”

“It will never work!” She said!

“I now have her power!” “You will never be able to save her now!”

“I finally have the power I have been seeking!”

Page 9

“You see, this jewel allows the person in possession of it to be healed from pain of their past by granting them a power that allows them the ability to overcome it.”

“In Destiny’s case her ability to walk on water and heal her pain with it as well.”

“And now I have it!” “And now I shall be healed!”

“No!!! “Please!!! “Pedro screamed!!!”

“Destiny will die!!!” “Her pain is to strong!!!” “She needs the jewel to keep alive!!!”

“And you don’t think I want to heal my pain?”” The pain I suffer from everyday!” exclaimed Anastasia.

“Everybody thinks, fairy godmothers are such nice, loving warm people that have no pain and no worries and that were perfect.”

“Well, it’s not true, and it’s time for me to have my victory to be happy, to help myself instead of helping others all the time!!”

“I am sick of helping others!”

“No, please Pedro pleaded again!”

” Their has to be another way!”

“Their just has to!”

Just then Pedro thought of his special power he had, the ability to stop and start the world with his hands. Although he had this power, he was afraid to use it and hadn’t used it in a long time because his father had left him because of it and it made him feel ashamed to ever use it again.

He wasn’t even sure if it would work but he figured he would take a chance.
Letting go of Destiny’s hand he lightly kissed her on the lips and softly said, “I’ll save you, I promise!”

Then he raised his hands , and said, “I command you to stop the world so that this fairy god mother will stop dead in her tracks so I can save Destiny.”
It worked, sure enough, the trees stopped swaying and the birds stopped dead in their tracks.

But, for some reason it didn’t work on Anastasia, she was still moving, although it did threaten her because she was clutching her star wand for protection.

“That’s it,” Pedro thought.

“It’s her star wand that is protecting her from my power.”

“I have to find a way to take it away from her.”

Holding that thought, he all of sudden charged at Anastasia.
She jumped startled, and tried to use the wand to protect herself but before she could do this, Pedro grabbed the wand away from her.

Page 10

Stunned she yelled,” give that back!”

“No he said, not until you give the star jewel back!”

“Never”, she said!

“Fine then I won’t give this back!” he yelled.
With that, he threw it on the ground as he did this, he yelled, I hate you fairy god mother I should have never trusted in you!

All of a sudden the wand started to light up.

He had done and said this not knowing that this would cast a spell on her!
Apparently, retrieving a wand from a fairy godmother that you don’t trust in and saying this at the same time as throwing it on the ground causes her to loose her positive power and become stagnant.

Because this was said, it did just that!

The fairy godmother froze and was unable to move.

The star jewel fell from her hand.

Pedro caught it just before it hit the ground and smashed in a million pieces.
Once he had the star jewel in his hand, he went over to Destiny and placed the jewel in the middle of her forehead.

The jewel started to light up.

Slowly she opened her eyes.

“Oh, Destiny he said thank god you are ok.”

He leaned over to kiss her on the lips.

But, Destiny now fully awake, rolled away from him and stood up.

“How, how could you do that to me?” She said.
Pedro was puzzled.

“I remember what happened,” You, you left me!”

“I I I’m sorry”, Pedro stammered.

“I was mad, you made me fall in the water!”

“And you wouldn’t forgive me!”” Why!”

“I don’t think I can be with anyone who doesn’t forgive me!”

“She turned and started to run away!”

Page 11

“Destiny wait!” He called after her!”

“Please wait!”” I love you!!”

“I just saved you like you saved me!!”

“Please, we are ,meant to be!!”

“Don’t you see?”

“This was meant to happen to show us how much we really do care for each other, even though it is hard for us to love or receive love because of our pasts.
Once Pedro said this, Destiny stopped dead in her tracks.
That was true, she thought.

She knew that it was hard for her to love or receive it. She hated it but it was true.

Once Pedro caught up to her.

“She turned and looked at him and said, I want to love you, I do, but I just don’t know how.”

“Neither do I,” he said.

“And that’s why we are in this together.”

“We can help each other let the other person in and be loved.”

“I feel that it is fate for us to be together, how ever much we push each other away and pull each other back in.”

Just then, Destiny took hold of Pedro’s hand and, said, “I forgive you”
Pedro smiled and said, “I forgive you to!”

All of a sudden, they both started to feel their hearts open and love flooded their bodies.

They looked in each other's eyes and at that moment they realized that as long as they had each other and had a mutually understanding of each other’s problem they’d be ok.

Pedro leaned into Destiny and they both embraced each other and kissed each other passionately on the lips.

Then they walked hand in hand happily back to Destiny’s home.

THE END

Friday, July 11, 2008

Short Story I Wrote

Fierce Vixen

He grabbed her from behind; she felt his rough, tough hands grip her throat. Upon instinct, she grabbed his hand and flung it off of her, with one fierce tug. Stunned by her power he jerked back and went to grab at her throat again.

"Fuck off" she screamed, and once again grabbed his hand and flung it off of her. Just then, she gave him a huge kick from behind and got him smack dab right in the balls. He screamed in pain as he fell to the floor. As he lay their whimpering she fled from him and yelled and screamed for her life. He got up and started chasing her but she was to fast for him and she ducked into an alley way and hid in the dark corridor.

Come out come wherever you are, he yelled. She remained their crouched down, she could feel her heart pounding in her chest, but to her surprise she wasn't afraid, no she was just startled that's all.

"No man should ever be able to get away with this she thought."

I should teach him a lesson. With that, she scrambled out of her hiding place and said, "You want me, Come and get me."

He turned around and started coming her way. She picked up a stick that was lying on the floor in front of her. He kept coming towards her; he couldn’t see the stick for it was dark. he came at her with his fist she caught it with her left hand and flung it away then she whacked him in the head with the stick, as he fell to the floor, she viciously started whacking him on his back and his legs as she did this she yelled,

"You know what I hate about bully's like you? You never know when to quit!"

You think that if you pick on women that you will be able to get away with it as a result of feeling like it will empower you, but you have another thing coming. their are women that will not pout up with your bullshit, and will give you a taste of your own medicine.

YOU PICKED THE WRONG WOMEN TO FUCK WITH DIDN'T YOU? YES HE SAID, WHAT CAN'T HEAR YOU. "YES HE SAID EVEN LOUDER."

THAT'S RIGHT, NOW YOUR GOING TO WAIT HERE UNTIL THE COPS COME AND SPEND ALONG TIME IN JAIL. She REACHED INTO HER PURSE AND GRABBED HER CELL PHONE THEM DIALED 911. HE TRIED TO STOP HER AND SHE PUT HER FOOT ON HIM AND WHACKED HIM IN HEAD AGAIN.

THIS TIME HE LAY STILL UNABLE TO MOVE MUCH.

The cops arrived notlong before she called and they were amazed at how well she hadprotected herself from him. One cop even said, "Wow" You're quite the fierce women;

"GOOD FOR YOU FOR NOT LETTING THIS PRICK GET YOU!"

As she shook hands with the police officer, turned and walked away, she had this feeling amazing impowerment feeling within her, a feeling that she would remember forever.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Bone Chilling Memories

It was a dark, cold and stormy night; Lizzy peered into the darkness staring up at her ceiling.

The wind howled outside her bedroom window and the rain hit wickedly against the pane.

Lizzy took a deep breath in, a scent of damp musty air filled her nostrils and made her body shiver with disgust.

Her head felt cold and it spun like a merry-go-round.

Obsessive thoughts repeated over and over in her mind causing
her head to jerk back and forth.

These putrid thoughts of killing innocent people: Why couldn’t she control them?!

Why were they taking over her precious mind, body and soul?

She could smell the fresh blood of her victims as they lay their whimpering, gasping for their last breaths as she took one last blow to their head
with the crowbar and watched them in awe as they lay there dying.

The blood was so sweet, as sweet as a candied apple on a hot summer’s day.

She liked the way it trickled down their bodies and on the floor beside them in a thick pool. She liked the way they looked so lifeless and were cold as ice.

She didn’t understand why she didn’t feel bad for killing many innocent victims,
nor did she care.

This was a never-ending addiction for her and it was something
she was just born with.

“The only explanation, She was born Naturally Born Bad”!

“And she was unstoppable and unpredictable”.

No one ever knew when she was going to strike again for she would hide in the bushes
and wait until her prey had reached the target and then she would creep up behind them, strike them and watch them helplessly fall to the ground with a loud groan!

A sly smile spread on Lizzy's face as she lay thinking about it,
embracing in her evil glory.

"Precious Pouch"

It all started when I was walking along the road feeling quite depressed that day, that everything was hopeless and I would never feel the joy of feeling happy again.

“All of a sudden”, I came across this beautiful gem and even though it was a gloomy day that day this gem stood out for me like the most beautiful thing in the world.

I knelt down and picked it up staring at in awe enjoying the fact that when it reflected off the dim light that it looked like rainbow colors swirling in the center.

I started to smile to myself and feeling like I had the most precious thing ever. I put it safely in my pocket and I have kept it since.

It was really a decorative stone used for table arrangements found at the local Wal-Mart but, I thought of it as a gem and to this day, whenever I feel down I hold it in my hand and visualize the day I found it and makes me feel better.

The next item I will tell you about is about a spiritual seed that came from a necklace that was made out of them. I was walking down the street and spotted a street sale on the corner of it.

A long necklace made out of seeds the size of a dime caught my eye and I stopped dead in my tracks. It intrigued me and I asked the guy how much it was. $5 he said.

I checked my pockets and saw that I only had a dollar on me. Feeling frustrated I checked my bag to see if their may have been more coins their.

Nothing. Muttering to myself I started to walk away and then I heard a voice say, Hey come back. I went back and the guy said, what seems to be the problem? I told him that I found the seeded necklace unique and wanted to use it for spiritual purposes and he said take it, it’s on me just like that.

That’s how I knew it was special. So, I took it home and it has been on my wall ever since. I have reason to believe that it brings me luck and I put one of the special seeds in my pouch for keeps.

Another special item that is in the pouch is a Guatemalan spiritual worry doll. This doll was given to me at a rave I was at. That night I was feeling really depressed and I couldn’t stop worrying about things.

This guy comes up to me and asks me if I was ok? I was shocked that he could tell that I was worrying allot. “How did you know?” I stammered. I read your body language from over where I was sitting. I was watching you for awhile now. Feeling a bit nervous I started to turn away from him. He picked this up and at that moment handed me the Guatemalan worry doll.

What’s this? I asked. It’s a very special doll that has spiritual powers. Intrigued I leaned forward to learn more. What it’s purpose does is it takes your worries away. You tell your worries to the doll and put it under your pillow and sleep with it under it and then in the morning your worries are gone.

Cool, I said. That night after I left the rave I went home and told my biggest worry to the doll and put it under my pillow. The next day I realized that my worry wasn’t so intense and I thought to myself, this couldn’t possibly be. A doll couldn’t possibly have these powers but it sure felt good to get my worry out by telling it to it. Then it struck me, that’s why I was feeling better because I had released my worry and expressing our worries to people or things always helps clear the mind and lesson worry.

The next item was a square clear glass pendulum with an angel engraved in it. This item was given to me by a very dear friend of mine I had at one point in my life.

I used to work for him and I don’t remember the whole story behind it unfortunately but I know that he gave it to me and told me that this angel would watch over me and protect me and I wore it every day after that point and eventually the chain broke and all that was left of it was the pendulum and I put it in my pouch so I could have it for all eternity and the angel would watch over me when I needed it to help me through the bad times.

Next is a fortune from a fortune cookie that I got. I kept this from a show I had once performed in. My friend had made a dress out thousands of fortunes and one of the fortunes had really caught my eye so I took it and put it in my pouch hoping it would act as an inspiration for me.

Another was a white gem similar to the blue one that I found on the street. Again this gem made me feel rich instead of feeling poor which was what I felt because I was living in poverty at the time.

Well that’s it, unfortunately their were only six items in this special pouch but I would like to collect more one day to add to it.

This is the only thing I own that has very special significance to me in this way. Other that this, I would have had to make it up and I would rather be honest in my writing then make something up just so it sounds good.

I am excited and eager to know what I will find or receive next to add to it to keep the spirit of the special pouch alive!

"Experience Of Performing Awakening Of The Spiritual Goddess"

I stood behind the door waiting for my cue. Then I heard it, it was our cue. I walked onto the stage.

There on the stage I heard our song begin to play.

"How can you see into my eyes like open doors"? "Bringing me down into my core where I've become so numb"

The song was Bring Me To Life By, Evanescense.

I looked over my shoulder and saw that the other dancers were in their places.

I picked up the crystal ball and placed it in my right hand and circled around it with my left hand just as we had practiced the night before.

The stage lights shined in my eyes and I remember glancing up at the crowd once during the performance and at that moment realized that I couldn’t see anyone because the giant stage lights were shining in my eyes.

The fact that I couldn’t see anyone out in the crowd that would make me nervous helped me to concentrate better.

I tried my best to get the dance right through out the rest of the performance and to not mess up.

Before I knew, it was time to wrap up the piece and get off stage for the next.

As I walked off stage I was glad to hear that people shared positive feedback about it like "nice work", we want more because it was an indication that we had put on a half decent show and that made me feel very proud that the hard work we did had paid off.

"Awakening Of The Spiritual Goddess Experience"

I was standing behind the door waiting for my cue, throat dry, knees weak, I could feel my heart beating heavily in my chest.

All of a sudden, I heard it, it was our cue.

And now, get ready a performance by the “Fierce Foxy Fires” called the “Awakening of the Spiritual Goddess”.

This is it! This is our cue, I thought. I took a deep breath and walked onto the stage ready to perform as the spiritual goddess in the story.

That’s exactly what this performance was about, a spiritual goddess that dies from her emotional pain and then is reborn into a new light.

It all started when a spiritual goddess turns to a crystal ball in hopes that it will help get rid of her emotional pain she deals with on a daily basis.

But as she peers into the crystal ball, her demons inside of her come to life and suck all of her energy out of her instead.

Terrified, the spiritual goddess tries to get away from them but, unfortunately the demons are way to powerful for her to defeat herself.

The goddess tries with all her might to conquer her mind and to tell herself that these demons are not real that they are all in her head but it doesn’t’ work.

The demons end up sucking her energy dry by attacking her brain to the point that she gives in and they destroy her for good and she ends up dieing.

Lying their dead and hopeless on the floor the demons dance around her celebrating their victory of having defeated her ready to bring her to hell.

All of a sudden, an angel appears in the darkness and since the angel is more powerful then the demons and is their to bring the spiritual goddess back to life, she attacks the demons to the point where the demons eventually give up and realizing that they can’t win they vanish into thin air in a cloud of smoke.

The angel walks over to the spiritual goddess and touches her head lightly with her wand, this brings her back to life.

The goddess then rises with the angel and they go off in the distance together symbolizing that the spiritual goddess has been reborn in to a
new life.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

The Girl Beyond The Shadows Piece

She peered into the darkness staring at the ceiling. She felt the fear creep up her body.

Her head spinned as old tapes repeated over and over again in her head.

These thoughts were sometimes controllable and sometimes not. The thoughts would
effect the way she would feel psyically and mentally. She tried many times to escape
them or to tell them to go away and she would fight them every day constantly like a
battle that is never ending, she wished with all her heart that her mind could be at ease where she wasn’t having obsessive thoughts in her head that she couldn’t control.

She would put her hand on her heart in desperate need of feeling the warmth from her
hand, it would sooth her, she would grasp her body and hold it awhile so she felt safe and it would stop her from feeling like she was going crazy.

Constantly, obsessing over conversations that have been said, what people thought of
her, how depressed and empty she felt, until one day it appeared in her mind, the divine the inner guide the one that was on her side and it saved her from the evil thoughts that often corrupted her mind.

This was her savior, for she listened intently to this voice and it helped her to feel not crazy and instead whenever she would hear the evil voice say that she was weak it would pipe up from the heavens and say,”no your not”, your strong, your a soul survivor and you should be proud of it!

Not understanding where this voice came from she struggled with thinking she was crazy for even having this voice in her head at all and didn’t understand that her inner voice was good and ok to have.

It was hard for her to accept it at first because she didn’t understand why it wanted to help her and why it was on her side. She was used to the evil voice taking over all the time with out this savior helping her out.

But, as time went on, she began to become more comfortable with it and began to slowly accept it more and more for she liked how it was so positive.

She decided to start to believe what it had to say and whenever the evil voice tried to take over if it would replace it with a positive response to let that positive response in and to not worry that much about where it was coming from to just enjoy it’s positivity.

She also started thinking that she was special having been given this special gift that no one knew of accept for her and having not had a family that was very loving or supportive she decided to make this voice as her new love, her friend.

Finally, after all these years of living behind the shadows she had conquered them and now felt beyond the shadows and thankful that she had been given a chance to have someone special love her and help her to love herself and save her from the evil darkness that so often tried to take over her spirit.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Quotes from my mind

A life is wasted if we focus on what we don’t have as oppose to what we do have.

Freedom is a gift, without freedom we are living dead.

There's no control on what life hands us but control on what we do with it or how we handle it.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

The Beauty Of Genuine Support

She cried and cried and cried, frustration and hurt filled her heart filling it up with pain. She took a chance and opened her heart.

Her fears and troubles poured out of it.

Not knowing what to expect, she was in awe at how suportive and understanding he really was.

Feeling like she wasn't alone in her troubles she embraced his support still feeling vulnerable and like he would make fun of her or think she was a baby for being emotional he gently said, i would never think of you that way.I'm here for you. She felt her heart melt and she started to relax as she took in his soothing words.

Feeling like they were one she embraced the feeling and felt his tender arms around her as they embraced in a loving hug.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Born Into A New Light

She walked gracefully across the water one step at a time feeling reborn, reborn into a new light a new way of life.

Her soul was finally open and it danced upon the water like soft silk, she smiled to herself and continued walking with no pain in her heart, no pain in her soul. The angels had come to save her, come to bring her to a new light.

She spread her arms out and felt the cool breeze lift her delicantly across the water. She felt as though she was floating, floating on water.

She was now born into a natural healer, for her own pain had dispersed and now it was her time to heal the world in all the ways she could.

Soul Dance

I feel my body start to move, music corupts my soul like like hot lava, I reach my hands up and touch the ceiling feeling free, free as a bird, free as a feather blowing gracefully in the wind.

I breath deeply feeling my breath full in my belly, than exhale feeling my body move in whatever way it wants to from the music.

As I move my body around the room swaying my hands and arms with the rythum.

I touch my heart with my hand and feel the healing energy take over resulting in a feeling of peace. I let this peace in and it takes over my soul and brings me to a state of pure tranquility.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Perdition Dancers

The listing on http://www.toronto-goth.com/ website for the performance I participated in as one of the blood soaked dancers.

Sun. March 27th: (bloody and evil) return to The Catacombs toronto-goth.com presents return to The Catacombs every Sunday night at The Vatikan, 1032 Queen St. W. Doors 8pm, no cover, all ages (ID required to drink). Steven (from Perdition) spins classic gothic and all your requests.
Tonight also features special Easter performance w/ Perdition and blood soaked dancers + guest DJs DemEntia & Alxxx. Merchandise by Reaperz Ripperz (goth resin figures), Crimson Avellone and Taedan Hall. Prizes and giveaways.
.For more info visit: http://catacombs.toronto-goth.com

Friday, February 1, 2008

Halo Halo Sa Toronto 2007 Preview of Event Video!

For this event "Fierce Foxy Fire" participated in it as Neptune Dancer.

My knees were trembling and my throat felt dry, all I remember thinking was, Oh god it's almost my turn to dance.

Taking a deep breath I walked in the middle of the stage in front of everyone felt the music and started to move with whatever my body felt like doing.

It felt awesome! I remember being nervous but excited at the same time! Now, looking back on it, I was glad I did it.

Below is the video that was put on youtube from Studio I: http://immortalinvestmentsinternational.com/i.html

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Pieces of my Heart

I try and try and try and try again not knowing what the proper thing to do is. If i only knew what that special antidote was that had you crazzy for me like in the beginning.

Where has the passion gone? Oh, where has the passion gone? How I long to kiss you passionately on your soft lips and hold you close in my arms again.

Don't know if it will ever be the same, don't know if it is worth all this stress. Feel like my fall has happened for a reason, I thought it was to bring us closer together but now I feel like maybe I was wrong.

It seems like every time you or I want to end it, something happens that keeps us together or distracts us from it.

Me believing in karma feel like this is happening for a reason, that somehow the universe is telling us to stay together but, sometimes i feel like i don't understand you, don't know what you want and don't know if you are ready or prepared for this.

All I know is that I love you and I hope that I am not keeping you from pursuing your interests or that I am asking to much of you.

Every day I just go with he flow in hopes that the universe will give me hints of wether to go on or not, like it has already and that's why i am still here.

I like how we talk things out, I am thankful that we are able to do this.

For now, all we can do is take each and ever day one step at a time,which is what were doing, and hope that we are still together in the end.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

LOVE

Like a blooming flower my heart flutters for you, yearns for you, for your touch, for your spirit.

You are my best friend, you hold my hand through it all and when I fall you help me gather up the strength to carry on.

Your belief in me means so much to me, I've never had anyone believe in me as much as you do. Your support tickles my insides and your acceptance makes me feel so comfortable.

All you do is just love me for me you don't care what status I have, all you care about is if my back is feeling ok or if I am warm.

I yearn to hold you in my arms again, to feel your warmth and love and to feel safe in your arms.

I promise that if you come back to me that I will accept you for you the way you do me. And I am so sorry for saying things to you that shouldn't have been said.

I leave this up to the universe now to decide what is going to happen, and if my wish comes true, I will work on this with you because all I want is you and it is worth it!

Soul Words

We never know what we have until it's gone!

Nothing is ever guaranteed in life, the only thing that's guaranteed in life is change.

We never know that the friends we have now will be our friends five yrs from now.

Or the people were married to if we will stay married.

Really all we have is "now"the present moments.

The universe will make whatever is meant to happen happen.

We just have to have faith in it!

That whatever happens in life it happens for a reason and it is meant to be!

Love is the most beautiful thing ever, and we never know if it will last but, if we have it it's important to enjoy it as much as we can every moment, because one day it may be gone.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Black Christmas Dec 21, 2005 & Psychic Mistress Krystyna

For this story I did fortune telling readings. It just so happened that a journalist was in the area and he popped into the gladdy and started interviewing people. He took an interest in me because he was intrigued by the fact that I was doing readings.

It felt really neat to be in a story and have it published on the genQ website.

Below are the full details:



Scene: The Gladstone Hotel


DJ’s 4est and Triple-X teamed up to bring you a very
special edition of the weekly Hump Day Bump on December 21st,
appropriately titled “Black Christmas”

Along with twisted holiday tunes, there was plenty of punk,
electro, beats, and other ditties to keep asses shaking. As
well, the night featured vintage videos and gigantic stockings
as the backdrop.

There was also be a special appearance by “The Man in
Black”, a “Mistletoe Make-Out Area”, and “Psychic
Mistress Krystyna”
doing her special holiday readings.
Festive attire was all the rage!!!

The night was geared to the holiday misfit and dysfunctional
soul. It was one of the last fun nights before meeting up with
your “other” family. Word on the street was that
it was the busiest and rauchiest Hump Day Bump to date.

The Details:

Black ChristmasGladstone Hotel Melody Bar – 1214 Queen St W – 416 531 4635 Wednesday December 21st. 8:00 P.M. to 2:00 A.M

Be nice and you might get a treat – Be naughty and you
might get two.

I was doing fortune telling readings at the Gladstone Hotel that evening. There was this guy named Equine that said he was a writer for Queer planet. He asked if he could write about me and a bunch of other people for his article. That's how we all got in this story below.


Hump Day Bump: O Holy Night!
by Equine Punk
generationq.net. (formerly QueerPlanet)


December 21st, 2005. A recently renovated hotel called The Gladstone. Night.

A tall man dressed in "Equestrian Chic" walks up to a hotel. He looks tired. Discouraged. He turns to walk away but then stops.

Equine Punk
(Voice over)
(the voice in his head)

No. I don't care if it sucks. Just be open to it. Just walk through the door. Don't be so afraid.Don't be so Toronto.

He walks through the doors, camera in hand, chin held high, but not too high. He sees a familiar face. His name is Bryen Dunn of Triple-X Productions, the organizer for this night called Black Christmas? Bryen Dunn "Hey you made it! Good to see you. Looks like it's going to be a busy night. Why don't you go see my friend Krystyna. She's the gypsy in the corner. She'll tell you your future."

He looks around. So many faces. Fags, dykes, breeders, riff-raffs, vagabonds, socialites, low-lifes. They're all there. Even the old clientele, the only thing left that shows the age of the hotel, is there. He weaves between the pillars making his way to the gypsy in the corner.

He introduces himself to the clairvoyant as a writer for QueerPlanet Canada. He asks to take some pictures because he's covering the events of tonight for a story. She looks skeptical. He encourages her to speak to Bryen. She retires to the washroom? and when she returns, she apologizes for having mistrusted him. He understands.

Equine Punk (V.O.)
(the voice in his head, in jest)

You'd think a clairvoyant would know if I was telling the truth?

She begins to explain her process. He listens. The lighting of the candles, the incense, the transferring of energy from the hands of the individual, the clearing of the mind, the magic eight ball?

Krystyna(nervously) "Oh that? That was a joke gift from Bryen. You should try it out. Ask it something." He studies the ball for a moment. Picks it up. Closes his eyes.

Equine Punk (V.O.) "Will I have a good night?"

A tight shot of the eight ball reveals three words. CANNOT PREDICT NOW. He reflects on these words. Krystyna nurses her White Russian. (not a boyfriend but a drink)

Krystyna(knowingly) "Wonder what that means?"

He takes a few shots of her in different poses. She's very comfortable now, and insists on more pictures. He indulges. He never messes with a gypsy. He packs up his camera, gets her to sign a release form and readies himself for the next adventure. The incense is thick in the air. She wades through it to connect with him one last time.

Krystyna(as an epiphany) "You're a very lucky person aren't you? I feel that."

Rebel, Rebel? encourages in the background. He orders a vodka-water from the bartender. She has short spiky hair with a short spiky attitude to match. She has seen these children through all their silly seasons. She wears a trendy blazer, begrudgingly. She drops off the vodka water. He tips high. The adventure continues. A white shirt walks by. Another little character parks beside him.

Heart(chipper) "Do they have Eggnog here? They should."

Heart is a young, dykey looking girl. Plain and smart. She looks logical, but not square. They speak carefully, but casually and he convinces Heart to talk to QueerPlanet. He listens.

Heart(dry but enthusiastically) "I live in Queer West Village. I do lots of things really. I'm an artist, web developer, oh, and I box." His intrigue is obvious.

Equine Punk (V.O.) I like this girl. I like boxing. Heart(discouraged)I mean not competitively. I tried it once, but I lost to this girl. Now I just do it for fun. You should come. It's called Toronto News Girls

They swap information, take some pictures, and promise to go watch some girls punch the shit out of each other.

Heart(mischievously) "Stay here. I'll be right back."

She runs out of the Gladstone like Rocky Balboa training for the big fight. He moves on. A woman catches his eye. She belongs in a different era. Maybe the 40's or 50's, but with a 60's kind of attitude. It's her septum piercing that tells him she belongs here tonight. He approaches. He indicates he wants to speak to her in a quieter local. She agrees. He pitches QueerPlanet. She's interested. He listens.

Andrea(with class) "Yeah, I love your idea."

"Actually, I work at the Royal Cinema, the rep theatre on College. We're trying to start a queer night there. We'd like to show old queer movies, and maybe provide a venue for artists to show new ones. I think it would be really cool. We should help each other out. I'm all about the networking. Maybe we could put your ad in our paper, and you could come out and cover some of our events. Interested? "

He smiles. The smile says many things. This chicks cool. I'd like to work with her. I'm thirsty. He takes some pictures of her and a friend. He suggests something dramatic, maybe up against the pillars. He admires their vintage-look. They correct him.

Andrea and Friend(a la Oscar Wilde) "We're not vintage darling. We're Indie."
The Indie's dispurse and Heart appears from behind the pillar.

Heart(non-challant) "You look thirsty. Eggnog? I ran across the street for it. It's Christmas. You have to have eggnog?

They order shots of rum for their nog. They drink. He sets his glass down. The drink is gone.

Heart is gone. A white shirt walks by. He sees a word in the crowd of freaks. On a t-shirt. It says KISS. He's not sure whether this is a band or an order, but he'd listen to both. He decides this will be his next adventure.

The nog sloshes in his belly as he makes his move towards the KISS. Mr. KISS has a friend. They notice him. They speak. They agree. He listens.

Danny and Sara are their names. He's a stylist. She's his make-up artist. They're like good cop/bad cop. One aggressing while the other withdrawing, but both charmingly opportunistic.

Equine Punk (V.O)My kind of people. They know what they want,and they know how to get it. Danny flirts. Sara plays shy. The charade continues.


Danny "You should take pictures of us in compromisingpositions."
Sara "Let's do it on the pool table."

After applying make-up to each other, Danny and Sara spread themselves on the felt. Equine mounts the table, straddling them both. He knows how to shoot them, and they know how to look hot.

Washroom goers pass the threesome in erotic awe. Most are too fearful to partake, but one inebriated girl takes a risk. A pool cue stands erect, balls are scattered, until it is only two left. Their faces are peaceful now. Exhausted. Relieved. Danny proceeds with some post-coital cuddle-talk.

Danny "Hey, we just worked with Kids On TV. They were really cool. "

Sara "You should come. I think you'd have fun."

'Cagney and Lacey' run off to go dance. The pool table is empty. He misses them. A white shirt walks by. Equine spots a sign that reads MISTEL TOW MAKE OUT. Some young lovers are taking advantage of this sign, and of each other. He dashes through the snow like a one-horse open gay. He asks the lovers for their picture. They continue to kiss. He asks again. No answer. This continues for a full five minutes. Finally the long-haired lover comes up for air.

Lover #1(out of breath) "Just take it."
He does. Several. Maybe too many.

Equine (V.O.) They make my pants feel tight. And my heart feel lonely.
He asks again for them to sign the waver. Without removing lips the lovers scribble random snakes and ladders on the blue slip. It will do. The lovers kiss, the music embraces, people laugh, and a white shirt stops in front of him.

Bruno(confidently) "I'm Bruno. You look like your having a fun adventure. I'm a resident artist at the Gladstone. Would you like to go on a tour?"

He nods at the bartender. She smiles. They leave. The two tall men enter a lobby with a beautiful elevator.

Bruno(teaching) "This is the oldest elevator in Toronto. Would you like to take it?"

They enter. He closes the gate behind them and hits the leaver to UP?.

Bruno "The elevator attendant's name is Hank. You'd like him.He's a character. Here we are." They step out into a beautiful studio space. Colourful canvasses cover the walls. They walk to a door.

Bruno "I want you to see my sculptures. And the studio I designed myself?"

They enter a stunning space. Giant ceilings, art everywhere, dark wood, books, fabrics, memories, dreams.

Bruno "This is called Le Girafe".

From the bottom up, four piles of books hold the legs of an old, dark wood desk. On the desk is a lamp and a wooden pillar. A top the pillar are more books wedged between the towering column and the ceiling.

Equine (V.O.)It's tall and crazy and magical. Like Bruno.

They talk. They laugh. They listen.

Bruno "I'd like to see you again? What are you doing for New Years?"

Queen Street. Snowfall. Night.

He walks home. The night is done. Morning is close. He sings "Oh Holy Night" to himself, and reflects on the events of this most holy night. An adventure that almost didn't happen. Because he was afraid. Of people. Instead, he chose to be fearless and lucky.

He remembers the eight ball and the words of the future. "CANNOT PREDICT NOW" It's like the mantra for Toronto. So much potential, but everyone's too afraid to make something amazing happen in their lives.

Maybe this is the beginning.

Equine(laughing out loud) No. Not maybe. This IS just the beginning?

Fade to Black.

Fashion show I participated in at the Reverb Club in 2005.




This pic is the outfit that I wore for the fashion show at the Reverb Club on Queen St. from designer Vanessa Wishart from the Vicerra Line.

I remember this evening consisted of a large range of sexxxy outfits that were esquisitly designed by her.

I also remember that I couldn't do the model walk very well and so I went in the washroom and practised with a friend of hers for awhile.

When the time came for me to go on stage I blew everyone away with how much my walk had improved with just a little practise.

I got my makeup done by a professional make up artist and my hair, it was so cool and I was proud to participate in this show.

Even though it was a rainy day the show did go on and was a success in the end!!